my phone is dead

Please stop the nonsense

There’s no need to send me love messages

when you’re feeling empty and I’m full

when you were denied by a woman last night or maybe you took one home and she didn’t turn out to be me…

so you reached out with

a picture of your new painting

a song that made you think of me

and the six weeks we spent in a cloud of fake love

Please stop wasting my time

and my battery

My phone is dead to you.

in light you are clear

Like the web of a spider, only light can illuminate the brilliance of all that you are.

The interconnected patterns of your being

The passions you hold deep to your core

The values you grasp

All there in a web like the variety of silk the female spins

Perfectly invisible in darkness



Pictured: Gasteracantha cancriformis (Spiny orb-weaver)

bloom

Put your hand on you heart,

the other on your belly

Erase all worry

Let time cease to exist,

watch dread & anxiety float away

Become the seer of your thoughts

and dive deep into your self

Let the vibrations of your intuition shake your soul,

awakening the love & courage to let go

of all that keeps you from bloom

For the flower inside, open your eyes

and all of your senses

to witness what She is conveying to you

The Universe, She only vibrates truth.

Never ignore Her call, for she will again.

Relentlessly

Until you listen.

shallow

My mind tries to wrap around the destruction humans have inflicted on the wild

As a species, we are always afraid of things that challenge us and that test our beliefs

 

 

We are scared and turn the other cheek

to differences and weirdnesses that shake our identities

 

 

We’re walking blindly in life;

we don’t open our eyes

or our minds to changes

 

We’ve minimized the worth of a woman in the world because they are part wild

We are nervous around their spontaneity–

It seems like the Universe

speaks through their actions

in each moment,

in each step they take,

and each word that drips from their lips.

 

 

This wild scares most because they never saw anything so brilliant before

Something so unpredictable and unmentioned

 

Others that cling to the objectivity of the feminine close their eyes and fists, looking for something to hit

As their rigid identities melt under the female’s bliss.

 

traps of a scientist

it feels odd to step back

from writing all the time

from doodling

from creating

from expressing

falling into the traps of science

involved deeply

seeking answers in nature

standing on our heads to count

analyze

and yet truly feel present

when you do it right

when you find the balance between creativity and the madness of biology.

 

between writing from the heart and exploring with the body.

 

For it is my heart & soul that speak these words

 

but it is my body and mind that burn flames in the woods.

 

 

 

 

i guess i get too enthralled when someone asks me what i want to do with my life. like i can fit that into a character limit. as if everything that i will do, all the roots i will spread, is merely a pot of existence, forever limiting. but i do not think this way. so when someone asks me what i want to do, my pupils dilate, my cheeks flush, & and my heart races thinking of the life i am creating. thinking of the life i am exploring each and every day. we know so little. and so i am thankful to have had the time to truly dive into the biologist’s role but i know now that creativity must be in the mix. it’s the learning, exploring and protecting the web of life that gets me going in the morning. who knew someone would get out of bed screaming taxonomic classifications with a wide grin. and who knew that same person could write creatively, take unique photographs, model, and sketch? I say fuck limiting any of my roots from stretching further. i say fuck anything stunting my growth into what may seem the unknown. i say fuck the images out there of me that are ingenuine of my true being! i am me and i create that! no one will share that same image BUT THOSE who matter will see me even better than i am… and i will grow

 

Tear drops of hope

I smiled as my eyes swelled with tears,

He held me near

as he whispered in my ear,

I accept you, as you are and as you will become

Your soul is a magnificent vibration, sending me numb

Whatever colors you must paint yourself to express

the light inside of you — I will love.

Just be true to your center

Never waiver for another’s pleasure

 

The tears streamed like rivers down my cheeks

In gratitude, for the man on his knees

loving me

an imperfect-perfect being